Hello you brave and daring souls,
Happy hump day! We have all made it to Wednesday which means we are merely two days of work away from being free!
Or, in my case, on the road to my parents place. Joys. Well, on the plus side, at least I don’t have to do any work for a week. On the downside, I have to be with my parents for a week.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I dearly love my parents, they brought me into this world, named me, swaddled me, fed me, walked me through six months of colicky shit (true fact), kissed my boo-boos, taught me my first swear words (thanks dad!), saw me off to my first day of school and were there when I was finally free from that hell twelve years later. But I moved away from them for a reason. Mainly, they drive me fucking insane!
I love them but honestly, this will be a test of just how badly I don’t want to go to prison. Plain and simple. I don’t look good in stripes or prison orange so I will be resisting with everything I have. One big plus is, there will be other family help and distraction from time to time. Thank. God!!
I will also, thankfully, have my laptop with me so that I can work on my book in my downtime or between tasks that have been pre-laid out for me to attend to in a minute by minute list. Oh, you think I’m kidding do you? I am not. My mother is highly organized and, while slightly flexible to certain things, depends heavily on a strict schedule especially where my slightly absent minded father is concerned. No, not alzheimer’s thankfully, I think it’s just part of his whole absent minded professor thing still hanging on. He was a chemistry instructor for a post secondary school when I was growing up, so he was always a little frazzled looking to add to the persona. Now I think he just plays it up because he knows it pisses my mother off to no end.
Oh! And he also plays the, if I don’t hear you say it-it never happened or was mentioned card, a lot. This man has the art of selective hearing down to a fine art form. As in, it should be in the Louvre on exhibit, it is this fucking amazing. Which, given my mother, is likely the only reason they are still married and one of them isn’t serving a life sentence in the pen.
One other plus of this trip. They always have booze. When in doubt, drink.
That’s it, I have a few things to get done before my departure including hitting the grocery store so I’m out of here, night all!